I had plans today. I have a sitter for my children. I was supposed to have lunch with a friend. She forgot. And I had plans to have a massage and my dear, sweet massage therapist's brother died. So, my day is free and clear. No plans. And I am looking for ways to FILL IT UP! It is hard to BE sometimes. Just be. Just receive this gift of life that has been given to me.  Sometimes I put my roots in other places- like in my husband, my friends, my children. Or how many engagements I have in a day. Or in spending money or eating lots of food. Or in busy-ness.  I forget where my roots really are. In God. They are in my heart.  When I forget, I feel lonely. I feel afraid or lost.  Sometimes I feel like I am spinning. 

How do I remember my roots? I cannot think my way back to my roots. I remember my roots when I remember my body. When I root myself right down into my core. Into my feet, my legs, my pelvis.  It is amazing how my body is a direct doorway back to my soul. Back to not only remembering my roots, but receiving them. Receiving the love that is available to me every second of my life. I do not have to do a thing to earn it. It doesn't matter how many friends I have, what kind of work I do, how many degrees I have, whether I was nice to my husband today or not. I am deeply loved. As I plant my feet on the ground, I allow myself to feel the flowing, infinite nature of my being. Sometimes this feels scary. Like Anne Lamott says, You want to know how big God’s love is? The answer is: It’s very big. It’s bigger than you’re comfortable with. This is the truth. I have done so many things to avoid this love. Drinking, drugging, eating, people-pleasing. You name it. But the more attention I pay to my body and my heart, the more I feel my roots. I can almost hear them crackling right from my feet deep down into Mother Earth. Feeling the support of her somedays...is all I need. Blessings to you this day, and may you and I, BE. Be with this love, let it fill our bodies and overflow into the thirsty heart of the world.

 

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