I am supposed to be in Chicago right now, waiting for a plane to Albany. But instead, I have been up since 4 am, have been inside the Denver airport and back to Colorado Springs already. My suitcase is still in my trunk. Why am I sitting here in my rocking chair blogging, and not on my way to dance with
Gabrielle Roth right now? My flight was canceled. I am going to try again and fly out on Sunday. Maybe I will be dancing with Gabrielle by Monday.
As I stood in a very long line for over an hour, I met some lovely people. One woman behind me wanted to get home.
I just want to get home, she repeated. Her daughter was coming home from school, back in Charlotte, for the weekend. And Mama wanted to get home. She was rerouted through Dallas and smiled and wished me well as she waved goodbye. I hope she makes it there tonight. Another young woman from Indiana was flying into Chicago to be picked up by her mom. Her eyes searched me nervously for any answers to this snowy weather dilemma. She stood next to me as we re-booked our flights. She got on another flight at 10:10. I hope the snow clears in Chicago so she doesn't need to stay the night in a town she doesn't know. Another guy, a First Class guy, who was able to go right up to the counter as those of us in the lower class looked on with envy, said as he was handed his ticket, "I am feeling lucky this morning!" And me, I was offered a flight getting into Albany at 930 pm tonight. And since Albany is currently under a thin slab of ice, that didn't look good. So, I declined and am catching a flight on Sunday. The woman working for American said,
Are you sure you want to wait until Sunday? And I said,
Yes, I am. I get to go home. I'll see you on Sunday, I said.
Who is the lucky one? Am I unlucky because things did not go my way? I don't think so. God is not absent from us when things are not going smoothly. In fact, that is when the presence of God is palpable. Especially
when things really don't go our way. It seems like Good can happen anywhere depending on your perspective. We get confused and think what is Good for us, is what feels Good, what feels comfortable to us. The things that have been most uncomfortable to me, have by far and away been my greatest teachers. I do not know the bigger plan. Maybe I was to go up there today simply to be in touch with these people? Maybe there is a bigger plan, a bigger purpose, than just what little old Jenny Finn wants? It is a relief to swim in such a big ocean. It felt good to know that there is room for all of us in the world and that there is enough love for all of us. No need to hoard it for my own. That sometimes things go my way, sometimes they don't, but they always go the way they go. Truly. It is the labeling that gets me all wound up. It is the "This is BAD that I don't get to go to my class today." Or "It is unfair that they go and I don't." Or, "This sucks. The airline sucks. Everything sucks." I have been there and I am sure I will be there again soon. But it felt good for that moment, to KNOW that we are all just swimming in this big ocean. We just forget sometimes.
I came home and went to my favorite Indian restaurant, Mirch Masala. I am still full and it is evening now. As I was pulling into the parking lot, I noticed a young guy crossing the busy street. He had shorts on, black socks pulled up to his knees, checkered shoes and a jacket with huge black and white skulls all over it. There is such an urge to judge in this moment. To poke gentle fun. But instead...Wow, he is an expression of God. I love how God expresses God's self. In so many different hairstyles, clothing, skin, cultures, landscapes. God just shows up As Is. Whether it be a smooth plane flight, a trip back home or a skeleton jacket. Next time you look into someone's eyes, especially someone you don't know and love, can you see who they truly are? Each and every living thing on this planet is a gorgeous expression of God. It is up to me to release my limitations and my judgments to this giant Love, this big huge Grace, and open my heart to
what is before me. There are a lot of demons to dance with along the way. I am no dummy on this one. But when I open my heart big enough to recognize this Truth, especially when it is really hard to see, it is in those moments that I feel my life becoming a living, breathing prayer.
