Marriage. Can I stay committed to the man the I married no matter what? We live in a culture where we often throw away what does not feel good. We move on from what is painful, or boring, or agitating. We are a feel good society. A marriage that lasts cannot go along with this feel good notion. There is way too much that happens within the container of marriage, and of life for that matter, for us to feel good all of the time.

How can I let Andy be the human being that he is? By owning my experience of life, and of marriage. One day, I can be delighted that I am married to this beautiful person. The next day, I can be irritated with the way he chews his food, or even worse, just plain bored with the same drill over and over. When I stay with all of this, beauty rises to the surface of the mundane. And marriage gives me an opportunity every day to see God.

Last night, as we lay reading our books, I turned and looked at my husband and thought, I am agitated by I don't even know what, right now. And I love him. I am so deep down to my knees grateful, that my husband and I have built a beautiful foundation for ourselves that can hold being human. We can hold being bored, mad, excited, having differing points of views and most of all, imperfection. We can do this with the help of God, of a much greater Love that sustains us.

If I own my experience in my marriage, I don't expect Andy to be what makes me happy, what makes me not bored, what makes me not agitated. That is my deal. That is between God and me. It is not Andy's job to make life anything for me. When I fill up inside, Andy is allowed to be who he came to this Earth to be. Himself. And that my friends, is truly a vision of beauty.