Sometimes, in fact lots of times, I live in an illusion. If I eat right (no to the Stouffer's macaroni and cheese, and yes to a gluten-free diet), pray enough (no to the Bachelor on Monday nights, and yes to dancing in my studio), avoid death (no to cancer and yes to one more clear doctor's appointment), dress for success (no to the pajama pants and yes to the beautiful turquoise shawl), have plenty o' friends (no to sitting alone and yes to being surrounded by many, many people), and have enough money (no to spending and yes to saving), then I will be safe. I lie to myself when I put my ultimate safety in anything but the hands of God.

Safety comes from within. Safety comes from knowing that we are beloved children of God. It's radical. I can hear the voices inside and outside of me,  "But we have to lock our doors, it's scary out there. And we have to save our money, especially in times like these." I wouldn't disagree. The illusion is when we think that is fundamentally what makes us safe. Nothing sustains me like God. Nothing cares for us like God. And there is nothing that can take that away from any of us. Even when I sit and watch the Bachelor with a big vat of Stouffer's.

Enough is enough. I am tired of trying to live up to some ideal that God definitely doesn't set for me. My expectations are too high. God just wants me to be me. And if that means I am in my pajama pants alone on a Friday night, eating cookie dough, then that's what it means. I do not need to be perfect to be safe. I don't have to have a certain body, a certain complexion, a certain profession and a certain wardrobe to be worthy. God walks with us no matter what we do.