Surfing the Strange
Ivy and I before she took off to Denver
I used to pick up hitch hikers in my twenties. I remember sitting down for coffee at a downtown Subway restaurant with a homeless guy, listening to stories about his broken family. I picked up a woman on I-25 who was gypsy-like, and believe it or not, lived in my same apartment complex! And I used to hitch hike to work when I lived on Martha's Vineyard, as I did not have a car on the island. And recently, on my way to Nova Scotia, I decided to share parts of my life with a woman sitting next to me, waiting for our plane. And then she pointed to the ring that she was wearing and said that it was for her son who died when he was five months in the womb. Taking risks often brings us closer. And we each need to take the risks that feel somewhat comfortable to us. I do not advocate stepping out of your box so much that you lose that deep sense of safety inside. To lose it a little and find a new part of yourself is life giving. To lose it entirely freezes us up and turns us into statues.
So, my family as a whole decided to be a little risky and join the Couch Surfing tribe. When I traveled to Halifax, I stayed with a woman, professor in her mid-40s and her little dog Bijou. I arrived very late on a Wednesday and she made me butternut squash soup, gluten free! We shared some great massaman curry at the local Thai restaurant and I learned that we both love good cheese. And she introduced me to some great rice crackers. A month or so ago, we hosted a young woman in her mid-20s from Taiwan. She teaches piano, and hiked up the incline ( a straight up hill hike that takes a little under two hours for those of us who struggle) with ease. She told us about how hard people work in Taiwan and that some children stay in an after school program until ten o'clock at night, while their parents work . She pulled up a map on Google and taught us about the geography of Taiwan, and the differences between the north and the south. She said she eats vegetables for breakfast and ate a homemade chocolate chip cookie for the first time in our house!
Nobody stole my children or my laptop. We never got hurt. And we are about to head around the world in January and plan to couch surf in these different countries. I know, the media in this country would frown on this sort of thing, even call me naive. I know people get hurt by strangers; rarely is it random, but sometimes. But for the most part, I am starting to experience that strangers are just friends we don't know. Inviting them into my home, and being invited into theirs, is an act of hospitality. We welcome in the unfamiliar, and we are exposed to newness. Welcoming the stranger teaches us how to trust, and as a result, our relationship to ourselves and to the world changes. Do you take risks, large or small? We are all invited to the party of life and to engage it fully, however that looks for each one of us. It could look like asking that question that you are afraid to ask. Taking that trip that you think you shouldn't take. Or running that marathon you thought you could never do. Or just wearing that pair of red heels you have always wanted to wear. A month ago, I ate some great sesame rice crackers I had never tasted before. In August, we introduced someone to their first chocolate chip cookie. All of these experiences have made life more interesting, and me, more whole. A friend recently said to me, "Life begins at the edge of my comfort zone." Where is that edge for you? And, honor yourself for the times you live on it.
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