Swan Song
I sat with a dying man. He had just had a heart attack and I was called into the trauma department to hold his hand. It was nearly three in the morning and as I walked in, I saw him lying unconscious on the table, maybe an hour from his death. As I held his hand, I heard some shuffling, as his wife and daughter were being led into the room. I stepped out of the way as they stepped in and held his hand, stroked his head and whispered messages of love to him. "Dad, you can go now, we will be okay." "Honey, I will miss you, but I will see you on the other side." The man lay quietly on the table, eyes closed, breathing shallowly. IV lines sank into his arms and he seemed to be out of his body. No facial expressions, just stillness. As his beloveds ushered him into the next life, I paid attention, as it is an honor to witness someone going home. As I watched and heard the love of his family, I couldn't believe what I saw. A small tear formed at the corner of his right eye, and it slid right down his cheek. He could hear them. He couldn't speak, he couldn't open his eyes, but he could hear them. His tear was his swan song.
Being present to death has allowed me to be more present to this gorgeous life. Facing my own potential death, and holding the hands of many who have died, has awakened me to the great gift of life. Let us not walk this planet as the walking dead, but let us wake up to this fragile, resilient life of ours, given as a gift. Many people that I love have gone home now, and I am certain are at peace. And many of them were not ready to go. They were right in the thick of their lives. Gratitude for your life does not mean being happy all of the time. It is unrealistic to expect that of yourself. Sometimes we are bored, lonely, tired and angry; fleeting emotions that do not define us. If you are bored with your own life, that's okay. You are here on the planet to be bored. Live it up for those who wish they could have had a few more moments. Because when you live it up for them, you live it up for you.
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