A Liberated Heart
Two things happened with my children this weekend that called me to be a bigger, more trusting person. The incidents are small in size but called for a mommy with a liberated heart; a heart that allows others to be who they are. And a heart that does not manipulate another into what she thinks or wants them to be.
My daughter Lizzie came to me today with a rubber band. She handed it to me and turned around. She held a tiny bit of hair from the back of her head in her hand and said "I want a ponytail Mommy but just with this part of my hair." My first thought was well that is kind of strange isn't it? Most people wear all of their hair back in a ponytail. Just as those words began to slip out of my mouth, my heart caught me. I heard that little whisper from within that always calls me to mind my own business..let her be herself Jenny. Put the darn ponytail in how she wants it and keep your beautiful mouth closed. So, I put a pinch of Lizzie's hair in a ponytail, the rest of her hair hanging around her ears, and she walked proudly out the door to the bluegrass festival. As small as it is, a bunch of side comments that tell my daughter how she should be (which is usually how I think she should be), can add up to a grown women not knowing who she is.
My son Andrew came to me today with a plan as to how he was going to clean his room. His dresser is piled with stuff; a bank he made out of a soda bottle, little clay bowls painted orange that he made in preschool and an eiffel tower he made with his friend Dylan. This spread is tough to organize. I say, get rid of it all! But no, he wants to keep it. And he decided today that he wanted to clean his room up by organizing everything in it by color. Needless to say, I wasn't so sure about this plan. My first thought was, his room is still going to be a mess but it will now be color-coordinated. Those words almost slipped out of my mouth, when my heart stepped in again. Same message: let him have his idea. Let him be himself. This is what he came here for. To find his way, not mine.
Though the incidents are small and simple, the message is clear: whenever you can, let your child be him or herself. Today, Lizzie decided to go to yoga with me..dharma yoga, a yoga of infinite inversions. Everytime the teacher said "headstand" Lizzie lit up. As we stood side by side with our hands at heart center, Mike the teacher invited us to devote our practice to someone else, as he always does. I looked over at Lizzie, her head bowed and eyes closed gently. She then opened her eyes and looked over at me and said, "Mine is for Fiona." She dedicated her practice to our cat. I wasn't even sure she would know what devotion meant. Boy was I wrong.
My children came to here to be themselves. When they or someone else is in danger, boundaries must be set of course. But I am talking about those little ways that children assert themselves that often are stifled because of our discomfort or shame. My children did not come here to be what I want them to be. They came here to be what the Love inside of them calls them to be. My only job is to get the heck out of the way.
beautiful
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This is why I have trouble w/kids. They call forth my shadow so fast, and just by being themselves. You and all mothers are tremendous.
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Darling Jenny, these little stories touched my heart and gave me the love infusion to start my day with joy -- thank you...
Returning love to you and your beautiful children, and Fiona...
Gayle
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Oh girlfriend. You have hit the light-filled target of it. The release-valve to freedom. The true respectful land of letting go...and letting come. Real children, entrusted with real lives...yours to be hold...but theirs to BE! Love you...and the light you shine so so brightly in the world! And then...what if...we did the same for ourSelves?? Allowed those wonderful fresh thoughts to become life and reality----uncensored. Oh yeah, baby!
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