Moving Mama

How About This!: On Uncertainty

Jenny Finn — Thu, 17 May 2012 03:13:53 GMT

How comfortable are you with being uncertain? Do you avoid it or do you hang out with it? Check out what Akiko Busch has to say about this, and if you wish, read the whole article attached at the end.

It is not unusual to begin something—a book, a painting, a pot, a walk, a recipe, a relationship, a marriage, any enterprise of the mind or heart—in a state of uncertainty. But I wonder now if some like uncertainty isn’t also a good place to end up. Possibly, it could even be the objective. ~ Akiko Busch

Check out the article in its entirety here.

Build Your Safety- For Earth's Sake

Jenny Finn — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 16:21:35 GMT

Walking Meditation by Thich Nhat Hanh

Take my hand.

We will walk.
We will only walk.
We will enjoy our walk
without thinking of arriving anywhere.
Walk peacefully.
Walk happily.
Our walk is a peace walk.
Our walk is a happiness walk.

Then we learn
that there is no peace walk;
that peace is the walk;
that there is no happiness walk;
that happiness is the walk.
We walk for ourselves.
We walk for everyone
always hand in hand.

Walk and touch peace every moment.
Walk and touch happiness every moment.
Each step brings a fresh breeze.
Each step makes a flower bloom under our feet.
Kiss the Earth with your feet.
Print on Earth your love and happiness.

Earth will be safe
when we feel in us enough safety.

Dancing With Myself

Jenny Finn — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 14:45:49 GMT

I was walking to my yoga class last weekend listening to fantastic music- Michael Franti covering Bob Dylan's Subterranean Homesick Blues to be specific. It was good. And I suddenly felt this urge to dance as I was walking. I mean I felt an urge. It took everything in me not to bust out dancing on the sidewalk. You might ask, why wouldn't I bust out and dance on the sidewalk? I am wondering the same thing.

I was sent a video yesterday by a student who traveled with me on the Spring 2010 Semester at Sea voyage- a trip where I traveled and danced around the world with 600 young people. It was amazing to say the least.

Here is the video he sent to me.

The timing was impeccable on receiving this video. I was just wondering why I didn't dance down the sidewalk when I wanted to, and here is this guy Ben in New York City, dancing his butt off. I wondered what my deal was.

Last night I took that same walk to yoga but now with this guy Ben in my heart. If he could dance on the streets freely without inhibition, why couldn't I? I mean I dance all the time with others for my work, for heaven's sake. Dance is my spiritual practice. What the heck was going on with me?

I strapped my yoga mat to my back and started walking; Matisyahu the Israeli rapper singing his heart out into my ears. He is another musical artist where it is almost impossible to not dance when you hear him. As I walked, I began to move my hands. I had a small bounce in my step. But this was nothing compared to the dance I was feeling inside. My movements were way smaller than what was inside of me. It was like having to poop but holding it in. It was uncomfortable to say the least.

The vulnerability that swept over me as I walked was remarkable. I was conducting an intimate study of my vulnerability. What I learned is that it was hard to break out into a full dance as I walked the streets of Colorado Springs. I was nervous and awkward. And I then I felt sad. I could not believe I was restricting myself in this way. No one outside of me was telling me that I could not dance. There were no signs that said "No Dancing." I wasn't going to get in trouble for it, no police officer was going to ticket me. It was me who was restricting me and for what good reason? Well, there wasn't a good reason. I was afraid of what people would think. I also wished I had my friend or my sister with me; two people I know would bust out dancing with me. I had a hard time busting out as myself alone.

I learned a lot in this walk with myself. It's not just about dancing on the sidewalks–it is about living my life. The prison bars that restrict me from being fully myself are not outside of me; I have built them slowly inside. Some of the bars are stronger than others or they have a stronger hold on me than I thought.

As far as dancing on the sidewalk, I know it will happen with practice and it will feel like freedom. The humbling part of this is, is that I thought I would have no problem at all doing what Ben did here, because dance is something that I do quite often. But it wasn't as easy as I thought. It will forever amaze me how I have this one life to live that I know in my bones will not last forever, and I continue to hold back from my life. These spaces where I restrict myself are doorways to liberation if I have the courage to stand before them; and not just once, but over and over again. It takes practice and attention to break the prison bars down.

So thank you Ben. You have given me something to work on. If you live in Colorado Springs, don't be surprised if one day you see me dancing down the street. One breath at a time.

You Are Standing on the Stars

Jenny Finn — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 16:04:42 GMT

A while ago my mom sent us an application for the IPhone that allows a person to be able to see and name the constellations, maybe you have heard of this? You hold it up to the sky and on the screen of the phone appears the different constellations and planets and identifies them as well. When we got the application we all ran out that night to the back porch to try it out.

My sun sign is Libra so I began looking for the Libra constellation. I swayed back and forth all over the sky, no Libra. As I stood confused at my inability to find Libra my husband said, "Hold it to the Earth." I brought my arm down and directed the phone to the Earth. Constellations and planets showed up on the screen and sure enough, there was Libra.

Okay, this might be VERY obvious to some of you readers. We all know that we live on a planet that is spinning in the universe. We all know that the cosmos exists above and below us. Of course. But how many of us actually integrate that understanding that we learned from reading a book into our very lives. How often do we think that underneath us, just as above us, there is infinite space and to get to the other side of the Earth we must pass through molten, fluid fire to get there? Not me apparently. I thought Libra got lost or something. That is how human-centered I can be in this life.

As I held the phone to the Earth, I saw all of these stars and planets beneath me. I am on a planet spinning in the middle of infinite space. I am living on a planet that is tilted just the right way towards the sun that life can survive. I am living on a planet that's atmosphere is just the right elemental balance so that I can breathe.

There is something perspective-changing when intellectual knowledge penetrates the body. Like I said, I have known this, but in my head. When I held that phone to the Earth and saw the stars beneath me, my perspective grew. It grew much larger than little ol' me. All of the things that seemed like such a big deal in the moment became very, very small.

I am standing in the center of a cosmos. We are standing in the center of a cosmos.That is just amazing. There are stars beneath us! There is infinite space holding us! What might that expansive knowledge do for us if we let it move below our heads and enter our bodies?

Consider today that you stand not only upon the earth but upon infinite expansive space. Consider today that you stand on the stars. How does that change your perspective of what is true?

Published on World Mom's Blog!

Jenny Finn — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 14:54:13 GMT

To read more about breathing into relationship, check this article out on World Mom's Blog.

Enjoy.

A Little West Coast Talk

Jenny Finn — Tue, 10 Apr 2012 03:55:00 GMT

This is a keynote presentation on wholeness that I offered last week in southern California. I was honored to be with the WACUHO conference and teach and learn about what wholeness, intimacy and self awareness have to do with one's work in the world. Enjoy and thank you for reading and listening!

Rise: Busyness-Awakening to Our Collective Addiction

Jenny Finn — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 00:01:57 GMT

When seven-year olds are saying that they are "too busy," I think it might be time to wake up from our collective addiction. Peace to you and thank you for listening.

Weird Things are Happening

Jenny Finn — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 20:11:39 GMT

Weird things have been happening to me lately.

I talk to the birds now. When I am sitting outside and I hear the crow calling above me, I say hello.

When I am entering my backyard and walking on the patio, I look down to make sure I am not stepping on an ant. I have nearly done the splits to avoid them.

I can identify some of the constellations and know my orientation to them. I noticed the other night that Orion was in a different place because I came out later that night to look at the stars. Then I realized that I was actually in a different place. Funny how perspective changes everything.

I cannot throw away plastic, metal, glass, or close to anything for that matter. We have been recycling for a long time, but sometimes I would get lazy and just throw the paper in my hand away rather than walk ten more feet to put it in the recycling. I know now that there is no throwing away. There is nowhere to throw away to. What I "throw away" I throw into the earth or its atmosphere. The atmosphere and earth that I cannot live without.

Two days ago I found myself turning off the shower water as I lathered my hair. That is very, very strange for me. I don't like to be cold in the shower. But there I was, standing and shivering, naked in the showering lathering my hair. To hear water running for no reason causes me physical discomfort.

Weird things are happening to me. I am starting to care more deeply for the planet that I am a part of. Not because anyone told me to or because I read it somewhere. It is happening because I am deepening into the earth through my very own body.

Published: How Breathing is Sacred

Jenny Finn — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 13:05:30 GMT

I had a piece recently published in the Journal of Sustainability Education. It is called The Sacred Breath: Teachings from the Inner Landscape. This 2012 edition was on geography and I decided to write about the human interior life. This article goes into detail about what I have learned from the act of breathing and why paying attention to the breath might help us better connected to ourselves, each other and the more-than-human world.

You can read it here. Click on the button on the upper right that reads 2012 edition. Enjoy.

Jenny's Denver Keynote: Leadership, Vulnerability and Empowerment

Jenny Finn — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 19:03:47 GMT

To see my keynote presentation, given this month, at the Denver Women's Leadership conference, click here.

I spoke about vulnerability, leadership and empowerment. It is from the place of vulnerability that I am empowered to be the leader I am called to be. I certainly felt this as I spoke.

Enjoy.

Hopscotch=Living Fully=Devotion

Jenny Finn — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 03:06:15 GMT

I sat outside with my almost 8-year old daughter last night, looking at the stars. We were talking about church and how we don't attend very much anymore. I asked her, "Since we are not attending church right now, what are some other ways that we might worship or devote ourselves to something bigger than ourselves?" Without much hesitation she said confidently, "Play hopscotch."

Devotion is being fully alive and making good use of the generous gift of breath that we have been given. Henry David Thoreau, in his famous work Walden, encourages us to "live deep" and to "suck out all the marrow of life." I bet this is what Lizzie feels like when she plays hopscotch, which is why it was the first thing that came to her heart when I mentioned devotion to God.

God is life. God is the breath that breathes us. To live that gift fully is devotion enough. But if you want to say thank you every now and then, maybe even get down on your knees for the gift of being able to look your child in the eye or the taste of green chile on a fall night, show that gratitude too. Gratitude fans the flame of devotion and makes the gift of life shine brighter.

Please Don't Refuse Your Flowering

Jenny Finn — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 23:39:52 GMT

I look out
At everything
Growing so wild
And faithfully beneath
The sky
And wonder
Why we are the one
Terrible
Part of creation
Privileged
To refuse our flowering.

~David Whyte

Today, and every day, notice the stories that you tell yourself. Do they limit you? Do they support you in your flowering? A teacher once told me that flowers are our most ancient teachers. They teach us how to unfold, authentically and vulnerably. A flower unfolds amidst the rain, the snow, the sunshine and the wind. The life within it keeps reaching towards its fullest potential. That same life runs through us. And it longs to be expressed to its fullest potential.

Would you tell the person you love most in your life to not be herself? Would you tell that person that somehow goodness missed him when he was created? Would you tell your beloved not to reach her fullest potential? Or would you try to sabotage what is best for him? I am guessing not. Please, then, don't do that to yourself. We need the fullest expression of you on this planet.

The Great Alchemist

Jenny Finn — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 18:22:32 GMT

I was standing in the grocery line today and someone had asked the clerk how he was doing today. He responded, "Holding it together." A neighboring clerk responded, "That's great!"

It left me thinking. We do not have to hold it together. Eventually whatever we are trying to "hold together" will come apart, then what will we do?

Breathe in. Breathe into whatever you are trying to hold together today. The breath of who we are will take whatever it is and turn it into something else. This is often why we hold on– we don't know what that something else is. The fear of the unknown keeps us "holding it together." I don't know about you, but holding it together takes an enormous amount of will on my part. It keeps me small and is also kind of boring.

Let the breath hold it together for you today. The nature of the breath is to move. It will take whatever it is you are willing yourself around, or against, and change it into what is best for you. And it will do this whether you like it or not.

The breath is like an alchemist- hand whatever it is you are holding onto over and watch what happens. In my life the breath, or essence, or soul, of who I am has taken alcoholism, drug addiction, love addiction, anorexia, abuse, death and more and made it into more than I could ever dream of. Trust the soul of who you are. It can "hold it together" much better than you can.

The Hopi Elders Speak

Jenny Finn — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 20:58:15 GMT

You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.

Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour.

And there are things to be considered:

Where are you living?

What are you doing?

What are your relationships?

Are you in right relation?

Where is your water?

Know your garden.

It is time to speak your Truth.

Create your community. Be good to each other. And do not look outside yourself for the leader.

This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast. It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold on to the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water. See who is in there with you and celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all, ourselves. For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!

Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we've been waiting for.

—The Elders Oraibi, Arizona Hopi Nation

Rise Podcast: Change is Natural

Jenny Finn — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 05:09:54 GMT

To learn more about how to navigate the changes that we encounter in life..please take a listen.

Essay On Death

Jenny Finn — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:38:34 GMT

Birth and death. Death and birth. We experience both with every change we encounter. Life is always moving, always changing. Here is a reflection essay I wrote on my experience with cancer and what it taught me about the light and the dark.

Essay on Death

Church and Me: Called to Wa(o)nder

Jenny Finn — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 16:08:45 GMT

There is a chapel on the Isle of Iona in Scotland that has no roof, three walls even. It is called the nunnery. A church without walls or a roof. I wonder what that might look like here in Colorado Springs.

Lately I have been spending time on Sunday mornings a little differently than I used to. Since 1997, almost every Sunday I have attended church. The beloved church that I attend is open, creative, loving and alive, and yet, I am called away from the large stone building in the center of downtown Colorado Springs. I no longer wake up on Sunday morning and find my body dressing for church. It feels strange when things change.

On most Sundays these days I have been getting to know myself more deeply. I have been practicing yoga; not just the Warrior 1 and 2 or the headstands and twists and turns. I am now reading the yoga sutras, practicing how to fill my body with breath, and chanting in Sanskrit. At the same time, I am reading Acts of the Apostles and the stories of Peter and John, the place where the mystical meets the physical. And I was recently sent a meditation bench made out of a 100 year old elm tree. I sit on it in my front room in the direct path of the sunlight. What I am hearing in this deep study of myself is that I am called to wander, and this call certainly begins to make me wonder.

Around noon on some of these Sundays, I find myself pulling on my fluffy boots and heading out into the cold. Then I just walk. My heart is in direct communication with my feet. Wherever my feet take me, I go. Last week I started walking downtown, right past my church while it was in the middle of its Sunday service. A loneliness surrounded my heart as I passed by. I continued to walk down Tejon Street and felt my feet turning into Acacia Park. Slight apprehension crept into me. I didn't really want to go that way. I heard that people use this site to deal drugs. It feels dead in that place. I saw groups of young people, and those who were homeless in the center of the park, surrounding the fountain. I decided to follow my heart and my feet and headed into the park. I wanted to veer left when I approached the teens. Their eyes were covered with long hair, piercings went through their lips, and tattoos were drawn even on some of their faces. They were all huddled together, protecting each other maybe. I felt a little scared and I wasn't sure why. I tried to turn my body to the left and I heard from within, "Go straight in, Jenny. And don't look down. Meet their eyes. Smile and breathe. I am calling you to spread the light that you know deep within you. Go."

I began to deepen my breath and turn towards what scares me, as benign as it was. Difference can be scary. How will we understand each other? What if they yell at me or think I am weird? What if I get hurt in some way? After looking down for a breath or two, I lifted my gaze to meet their eyes. I smiled, even said hello, and they simply smiled back. "How ya doin?", they asked. No big deal. Nothing to be scared of. Grace often rises in the unexpected and the simple passages in life. Acacia Park was my church that day.

Another Sunday I sat next to a guy at a local diner counter who was terribly hung over. His skin was puffy and he almost threw up the bacon he had just eaten. He had to send his meal away. He shared with me that he knows he shouldn't drink that much but he does anyway. He drank for ten hours the day before. I get it. I have been there. Through my vulnerability I am called into deeper relationship with what Celt George Macleod calls, the Life of all life. This church God is calling me feels really risky; it even kind of hurts.

The light longs to shine in the darkness, and in order to do that in the world, I now must wander. But as I share the light I feel within me with others, I also feel it grow in me. When I go into places that scare me, inside and out, the light shines on more of me. So it is not like I am wandering to "help" or "save" anyone. I am just as scared as everyone else. Wandering brings me close to God just like sitting on my elm tree bench. For me right now, church is just this: wandering and wondering. It is uncomfortable and strange, but I know the Life of all life is in it. How could it not be?

elephant journal Article

Jenny Finn — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 04:25:44 GMT

Hello lovely Moving Mama blog readers-

One of my writings was recently published in the elephant journal- please read it here and pass it along!

What's the Hurry Anyway?

Jenny Finn — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 16:20:21 GMT

The extent to which we give in our lives has everything to do with how much we receive. I am going to say that again, the extent to which we give in our lives has everything to do with how much we receive.

I stood at the gas pump this morning filling my car up in the sunshine. I always stick the pump in and then head back to sit in my car, avoiding the cold wind and such. Today as I was sitting in my car waiting for what felt like a longer time than usual, I decided to get out and pump it myself thinking maybe that would go quicker. As I pumped the gas, I noticed there was an older man standing on the other side of that pump. I peeked around and said hello. As he stood with his hands in his pockets he made me aware that this particular pump is really, really slow. I hadn't noticed before, or maybe had simply always gone to a different pump, but I said to him, "You know I think it is a good thing this pump is slow, what's the hurry anyway?" A smile spread across his face as he shared with me his recent trip to Hawaii, a story about his daughter and something else I can't remember. Not only my gas tank was full when I left, I was, mostly from his smile I think. His smile spread from ear to ear.

How we show up in the world has everything to do with how much we receive, how much we take care of ourselves. Do we rest when we need it? Take a bath, hold a hand. Slow down. We live in a culture that overexerts itself; where action is valued far more than being.

Be radical in your receiving, even and especially, if your thinking mind says you don't have time. I hear many young people say, I just don't have time to be with myself. We are teaching them this and if you are a stranger to yourself, a stranger to receiving yourself, how can we possibly give back to this world from a rooted place? In our hurry we are avoiding ourselves. Being busy seems to be the number one addiction in this country. We are knee-deep in our schedules often having somewhere else to be rather than right here in the moment.

My friend at the gas pump this morning asked, "What are we all hurrying to anyway?" What if we all hurried back to ourselves and not to the "next thing." Come back through the breath. Put your hand on your chest today and be breathed. The fact that we did not have to schedule our breathing today, that it just happens, is a miracle. Try being with this miracle once a day and see how it just might change the ways you move through this world.

Rise Podcast: Accepting What Is

Jenny Finn — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 05:09:44 GMT

To accept what is on the outside, we must accept what is on the inside. And to do that, we need a big, bright light. Enjoy.